The Ashe Keeper

Posted on July 30, 2012 by Travel Spirit

A few weeks ago I took my mother’s ashes to the cemetery where my Aunt (her sister) is buried and spread them on her grave. My mother died a year ago from Cancer at the age of 78. She was one of eleven children born into poverty and she was closest to this sister.

My father passed away in 2006 from Cancer, my grandfather (his father) passed away in 2004 (at the age of 100) from old age, and my father’s mother passed away in the 1980’s at the approximate age of 80. At one point, I had all of their ashes. A few years ago I took their ashes to the Voice of America Park in West Chester (Cincinnati), Ohio and found a spot down a road without anyone around to sprinkle them. The reason I chose the Voice of America Park was because my Grandfather had been one of the first engineers with them over in Germany in the 50’s. He and my Grandmother probably would have preferred being spread in Germany, but I didn’t know when I would make it back there. I was stationed there when I was in the Army back in the late 70’s.

My Grandfather led a very motivated life…was a talented Violinist in addition to his career as an Engineer, and other interesting endeavors/inventions. If you’d like to read more about him, I have a post here that I wrote over a year ago.

Anyway, back to my Mother. She believed she had a ghost that lived with her for about 10 years, until she moved in with me back in 2008. She had some ghost detection people come out and spend the night to see if they could pick up anything with their equipment, and they did register some activity. She told me before she passed, that if I felt something brush against me, that it would be her. A few weeks after she passed, I was sitting here at my computer and felt something brush against my leg. I didn’t think anything of it, just took my hand to brush at the spot. Well…it happened again and then it dawned on me. Have any of you had experiences with ghosts?

Back to her ashes. I’m sure that cemeteries have a rule against doing what I did, but I couldn’t think of a place my Mother would have rather been. I asked her before she died and she said to keep her for a while and then put her where I thought best. Having never visited my Aunt’s grave (she died when I was nine years old), I found online what Section she was in and the general location. This particular cemetery is very large, so once I parked by the Section, it took about 20 minutes of walking around to find her grave. Some grounds employees drove by me in a golf cart and I tried to keep her bag of ashes cradled in my arm, so they wouldn’t stop to investigate. I have two brothers, but I’m not in contact with one of them and the other one hasn’t asked about her ashes, so I didn’t think he’d be interested in accompanying me.

I also would like to be cremated. I think it’s a waste of space and money to put dead people in expensive boxes and bury them. When I die, I’d like people to celebrate my life if there is a funeral. Make it a party!

Death and Disposition – You Say Your Mother’s Ashes Are Where? (wdednh.wordpress.com)
Family demands Lafayette cemetery buy back $3.2 million mausoleum after ashes stolen (mercurynews.com)
The Stuff Family Legends Are Made Of (mommystolethesugar.wordpress.com)
Man Steals Dead Woman’s Ashes Then Threatens To Snort Them (dreamindemon.com)

Happy Easter

Posted on April 7, 2012 by Travel Spirit

I’d like to wish everyone a Happy Easter! I’ll be spending mine with ex-family–I know it’s complicated. We’re going to my brother’s ex-wife’s sister’s house. My brother won’t be there because he and his wife have other plans (we all usually get together). Hopefully my son will make it there.

I made a centerpiece for his ex-wife and her sister. Here’s a photo…

I found the idea on Pinterest. They’re quite simple (a little labor intensive) and inexpensive to make. Hardboil four dozen eggs, color them, and add real or “fake” flowers. I chose fake so that they can be used again next year.

Cost:

Walmart glass containers $12

Eggs @ $1.00 per dozen $ 4

Dye $ 1

Flowers (from the dollar store) $12

Total $29 divided by 2 = $14.50 each

Sending peace, love, joy, happiness, safety and clarity to you!

~~Sherry~~

Peace in the Face of Death

Posted on April 26, 2011 by Travel Spirit

As each day goes by, my mother approaches her impending death from Stage IV cancer…with acceptance. We talk about death and what both of us envision after life will be like. Although she has rarely gone to Church, she believes in God and Jesus and hopes that she will be with relatives that have already departed. Her life has been difficult, having grown up very poor, one of eleven children, and having gone through most of life’s greatest stresses…divorce, the chronic illness and death of her second husband and most of her siblings and parents, and many more of life’s disappointments.

I think about what it will be like once she’s gone, when I forget and want to call her on the telephone and realize…she won’t answer. Grinning, she says, “Once I’m gone, if you feel fingertips brushing your arm, it will be me”. You see, she’s been the type of mother that would do anything in her power to protect her children, blurring the line between motherly nurturing and co dependence.

She tells me the same story every week of when I was little and looked up from my stroller and said, “Me push Mommy, let me push”, and of how independent I was, even then.

I am proud of the grace that she is showing during this process and realize I am my mother’s daughter.

My Mother

Posted on November 7, 2010 by Travel Spirit

When my mother was living with me last year, I composed a five-page typewritten mini “autobiography” for her. Following the ideas from a website called “Living Legacies”, I questioned her extensively and discovered many things about her that I previously wasn’t aware of.

When she was born in the early 1930’s, there was a mid-wife to herald her birth. She was one of eleven children, born into poverty. Her parents did share-cropping for a few years and life was difficult in the country.

There was no electricity or running water. Coal oil lamps were used and there was an outhouse. They didn’t own a car, so walking was a necessity. A horse and wagon was used to transport their possessions when they moved. The boys were the horsepower to pull the plow for farming!

Rainwater was collected to wash hair and bath time came around once a week. Her mother would cut everyone’s hair when necessary. Although mom was a tall and skinny girl, she chopped wood, carried water from a spring, helped with doing laundry on a washboard, and would knock hens off of their nests, so she could gather their eggs. One of her sisters milked the cows. They had pigs and usually a few dogs and cats.

The boys would sleep together in one bed and the girls in another bed. Mom remembers having to pick dandelions for soup, because they had very little food. There were the cherished memories of her mother making cornbread, fried chicken, milk gravy, chicken & dumplings, bacon, eggs, and homemade blackberry pies.

Mother wore hand-me-down clothing and Grandma would make broom-stick skirts for the girls. When the holidays came, there were peppermint sticks for Christmas and Turkey was a treat for Thanksgiving. She has fond memories of playing hide-n-seek, swimming in the creek, playing with dolls, and her brothers making homemade toys out of sticks. They picked berries and shelled walnuts.

Gathered together, sitting on the floor, the children enjoyed listening to radio broadcasts of “The Shadow”, “Inner Sanctum” and the “Squeaky Door”.

She left home when she was 17 years old and lived with one of her older sisters for a year, before moving to the YWCA. She married my father in her early 20’s.

Life was difficult for Mom as she was raising her three children, because Dad changed jobs frequently and the lack of money was a constant. She felt frustrated because she couldn’t provide much for her children in the way of clothes or any activities that required money. There were no family vacations, except for camping.

Dad and Mom owned a Deli for a while, and Mother worked behind the counter, while Dad grew his beard long and traveled through Amish villages, purchasing meats and cheeses from them.

Mother’s next job was laundering napkins at a restaurant/nightclub. I had left home at this point and was in the military.

There was much turmoil through the years in my family and they ultimately divorced in 1981 and Mother moved to a small apartment. She met her next husband shortly thereafter and remarried in 1983.

For the past 20 years she was an Apartment Complex Manager and her husband was the Maintenance Man there. She has fond memories of her years with him, before he died in 2001. They went fishing, had picnics and grilled out, went to dinner with her sisters, had friends that lived in the apartment complex and enjoyed many good times with them.

Beginning around 1995, Mother had a ghost that would harass her every night in the apartment that she and her husband lived in, until she moved out in 2008. She had a team of paranormal investigators spend the night once and they recorded activity.

In November, 2008, Mother was informed that she has a giant aneurysm at the base of her skull and they didn’t want to operate on it. She was in a nursing home and not doing well, so I quit my job and she moved in to my home so that I could take care of her. She improved rapidly and a year later she moved into a senior citizen apartment nearby.

Just recently she fell and broke both of her arms…so she went back to a nursing home for a month before returning home.

The following are some of mother’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions:

• She believes in God, heaven and hell.

• If she could have three wishes they would be to own a small compact house, that my older brother would stop drinking and that her aneurysm would disappear.

• Her advice to young people is: To live life without drinking too much and without anger.

• Her advice to married people is: To love one another like you would love yourself.

• She is sometimes afraid of the thought of death and other times, not.

• Her greatest challenge in life has been her oldest son, because he has been mean and angry with her for most of his life.

• The most generous thing she’s ever done is: sacrificing many of her wants/needs/money in trying to change her son into a loving son.

• The meaning of life to her is: It is what you make it. God gave us life to see what kind of individuals we would be on earth.

My Amazing Grandfather

Posted on November 5, 2010 by Travel Spirit

My paternal grandfather was an amazing man! He is the boy sitting in the middle in the above picture. The first time I remember meeting him, I was 16 years old. I flew to Florida with my father…my first trip on a plane…and stayed with he and my grandmother for a week. I was told they visited a couple of times during my childhood, but I have no memory of this. He lived to be 100 and passed away in 2004. He was still playing the violin, driving and using his computer!

He wrote a 35 page autobiography in the 90’s and I’d like to share some of it with you. There are many stories that I’d like to share, but unfortunately, it was necessary to greatly condense it. These are his words:

My ancestors came to Long Island from England and then settled in North Carolina in 1693. I was born in Indiana and my father made a living repairing things, mostly watches and clocks. In his spare time he made violins. He was a nut about violins. In fact, he would rather scratch a tune out of a violin than food out of the earth.

My Great-Grandfather

He told me in later years that he had made his first violin out of a shingle but when his father caught him playing it, he broke it into pieces. The Quakers had strong beliefs about having too much fun and the violin was considered a tool of the devil.

My mother was a talented painter and painted professionally before she married Dad. My father worked as a general mechanic for a period of time and one of the workmen gave me a large dry battery. I began gathering discarded dry batteries that had been junked because of low voltage. These connected in series would provide enough power to operate a small electric motor Dad had bought me, as well as a spark-coil. The seed was sown. That was the forerunner of me becoming a radio engineer.

My first job was picking strawberries on a farm about 3 miles from home, and I had to walk to work. Next, I worked for the largest grocery store in town and was told I could eat anything in the store, and as much as I wanted, and I did. I was 10 years old at the time and I suffered working the long hours. I worked from 7am until 11pm, on my feet the entire time and then after the store closed I had to go with the delivery truck and deliver bushel baskets of food all over town. I finished around 2:30am and then had to walk a mile home. I usually couldn’t sleep very well after this because of severe leg cramps.

The next summer I worked for a sheet-metal company that made running boards, fenders and hoods for automobiles. My pay was 7 cents an hour and I worked 10 hours per day. I got a job at the “Remy Electric Company” the following summer.

About this time Dad began pressuring me to take up the violin, but I wasn’t interested. He paid a teacher fifty cents a lesson to teach me, but when he decided I was spending too much time with electricity and not enough practicing the violin, he stopped paying the teacher. My teacher told me that he would teach me for free if I wanted to continue. I suppose it was just spite that caused me to continue with the lessons. Later when I earned some money teaching violin, I repaid the teacher.

A friend had given me an old copy of the boy scout’s handbook that showed how to build a small receiver using a “coherer” and 2 electric door bells, and that’s how I made my first receiver. My father had given me a nice seven jewel Elgin pocket watch in a gold filled case and I traded it to a school friend for a bunch of junk, coils, wire, a pair of headphones and a magnetic vibrator type battery charger. When I brought the stuff home, I sure caught hell. I got all of this for a bargain, because World War I had just been declared and the Commerce Department had stopped the use of all ham equipment. Consequently, my friend had decided to get out of ham “wireless”. The word “radio” was coined several years later.

He’s the fellow on the right

World War I was over and I got my ham operator and station licenses in 1920 and began operating legally. Concurrently, I was taking violin lessons at the Metropolitan School of Music at Indianapolis, attending high school, and playing in the school orchestra. When I was 16 years old, I decided to join the Musicians Union hoping to make a little money. This was during the day of the silent movies. I tried out for a job in the orchestra at the “Starland”, a local theater and got it. The pay was $35 for seven days a week 2:00-4:00pm and 7:00-10:30pm.

I had various positions at the following venues:

Riviera Theater…violinist; Meridian Theater Orchestra… Leader; Murat Theater; English Opera House; Ohio Theater; Isis Theater, Kokomo…Leader; Circle Theater, Indianapolis…Violinist; Lowe’s Palace Theater…Concert Master; and the Madison Theater, Illinois…Violinist, Indiana Theater; Concert Master at Cincinnati Civic Symphony; Orange College Symphony Orchestra, California; Stetson University Symphony; Concert Master with the Daytona Beach Little Symphony and Director of the Debary Concert Orchestra.

He’s the tall guy behind the drummer

Many of the big name stars were in these shows, such as Eddie Cantor, Jack Benny, Al Jolson, Fannie Brice, Bob Hope, Dick Powell and Paul Whiteman.

In 1923, I married my wife and nine months later our first son was born, followed in 1929 with our last son.

After retiring in 1969, I played for the Hendersonville Symphony, in North Carolina and gave violin performances at churches, the Salvation Army, and retirement homes.

My other positions were as follows:

Phototone Company in Indiana as designer of amplifiers for their theater sound systems and then promoted to Chief.
Eli Lilly traveling to hospitals and clinics showing a film about insulin for diabetes that they had just developed.
WLW in Cincinnati as an engineer in the studio, master control recording, remote pickups, transmitter operation and maintenance. I was working there during the Flood of 1937. It was a sight to behold, looking down into 3rd street below, seeing small boats traveling in the water covering the street pavement.
WSAI as Chief Engineer.
VOA, Munich, Germany, Transmitter Supervisor, Foreign Service Staff Officer in the State Dept. and then Studio Supervisor.
United States Information Agency, Bonn, Germany as Technical Chief of the Radio Branch and later transferred to W. Berlin in the same capacity.
Chief at KFOX in California.
I started a company that did consulting for the Defense Contracting Industry.
Radio Free Europe, Darmstadt, Germany and lived there for 11 years before retiring to Florida.

Some of my other accomplishments include:

Designed and built a portable sound projector – – assigned patent rights to a Company in exchange for commission. The Company went bankrupt during the 1929 stock market crash.
Built a portable public address system – made extra money with it through neighborhood picnics and on the side for WLW.
Elected Steward and Executive Board Member and later Local Union President and Business Mgr. for the new Union (I believe it was IBEW).
Member of The Masonic Blue Lodge, Scottish Rite & Syrian Temple Shrine.
I visited Mittenwald, Germany, bought 100 yr. old wood, shipped it to my father in Indiana and he made two violins, which he thought were the finest in his collection.

One of my favorite writers, Sydney Harris said “The violin is unique in that no other instrument sounds more heavenly when played well or more agonizing when played badly”.

Here are a few of my observations:

Knowledge, education, curiosity, imagination and perseverance all went into the making of the transistor and I believe the transistor and its progeny have done more for our scientific world today than anything else. Just look at what has been accomplished with the use of electronics in medical science. The microchip, which is nothing more than many tiny transistors in a small package. It is extremely important in the space program, computers and most electronic devices.

Those five words: knowledge, education, curiosity, imagination and perseverance applies to anything worth doing. There is a sixth word–challenge, which is of great importance. All of these, coupled with an understanding of human nature are the ingredients necessary for getting along in this world. It is also a good idea to practice “The Golden Rule”.