Mother’s Day when your only child has died

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When your only child has died, you can choose to wallow in the suffering, or celebrate having been a mother. I am choosing the latter today. I miss my son very much. He has been my greatest joy and greatest sorrow. The photo below is from a scrapbook I made years ago. It shows his sweet precocious personality. I loved being a mother to him. It gave me purpose and someone to love unconditionally.

Compared to my upbringing in poverty and neglect, his childhood was filled with affection, opportunity and abundance. When he was little, although I worked full-time, we had regular excursions to Kings Island, Chuck-E-Cheese, The Discovery Zone, the Zoo, the circus, bicycle riding, camping, boating, annual trips to the beach, and snow skiing.  He had a go-kart, a trampoline, and a four-wheeler.

He grew to be 6’8″ tall and was a star athlete in basketball and baseball. Sports were part of his life from when he was 4 years old. He was also top of his class in academics. His future was bright!

This photo is from a mother’s Day about 10 years ago.

I know that some mothers are estranged from their child/children, and I’m sure that brings much suffering also. It’s been almost 5 years since he passed and almost 6 years since my husband passed. I’m a different person now. No longer a wife, mother or daughter.

My husband, son, and a girlfriend agreed to have photos taken for my tourism business.

I feel his spirit within me and it comforts me.  I still feel lonely some of the time. I’m trying to meet more people and create more connections.  I also miss my mother, but that loss is overshadowed with the loss of my son. She was a sweet person.

Life is about change and loss. Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Anyway, I am sending a Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. 💐

19 thoughts on “Mother’s Day when your only child has died”

  1. Hi! I just came across your blog, and love this! I lost my oldest daughter in 2021 due to a car accident. Her girlfriend lost control of the car. My daughter was the passenger, so I know just how you feel, and I’m so sorry for your losses. One thing that I absolutely agree with – is you saying you’re a different person. I do thing the death of others – especially a child – brings us to a whole new level of ourselves we could never imagine. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you’re finding all the reasons to smile every day, as I’m trying to do. I shut myself out to the world after my daughter passed, and these days, I’m doing my best to stay positive and connect with others as well. God bless you!

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    • I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I’m sure her friend carries that burden with her every day, which is also sad. I’m glad you’re getting out and living. I’m listening to a audiobook while I drive, actually I just finished it, called Talking to my Angels, by Melissa Etheridge. She lost a son. It was a good book.

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      • Thank you for that! Unfortunately, both of them passed on impact. So, the girlfriend was killed as well. I def. have to check out that book. I’ll look it up today. I’ve read many books about spirits and angels since my daughter passed, and that has helped. Last week, my two younger kids and I were on a beach and this butterfly kept flying around just us – so my daughter thought it was her sister. She said, “Jordan, if that’s you – land somewhere”, and that butterfly sure did land! It also wouldn’t let my kids touch it. Whenever they got close, it would fly away but come right back. When we were about to leave, my daughter went to slowly pick it up and she was able to. It sat in her hands for a few minutes. ❤ We’d like to believe that was a sign from her. I believe in things like that, so always look for signs from your child as well. ❤

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  2. Thank you for sharing such a personal, vulnerable, and painful part of your life. I too lost my adult son; it was in April of 2022. I am blessed, however, as I still have another son. He struggles though and does not really participate in life, so it is a bit of a loss as well to see him just exist rather than live. God Bless you for your courage and strength.

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    • None of us know for sure what is waiting once you die. I believe in an afterlife, but nothing like what most religions believe. I believe that we will be all knowing and we’ll have love for everyone at the same level. Not just our family.

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  8. Happy Mothers Day Sherry, hope it’s a good one! It was was nice seeing you and Sherry at BBQfest Friday. Hard to believe none of the wine booths had a corkscrew.🤔

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